Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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