She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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