I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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