he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
