is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
