i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
