Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
