His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
