I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You've changed since you got that strap on
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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