I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
