At least make sure they are 18
Why
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
