Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
