I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
