Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
