when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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