Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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