Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
