I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I lost the right to judge tonight
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
