Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
