I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
