week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
