last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
