just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
