I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
