Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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