i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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