he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
