Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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