There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
