Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize