i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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