We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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