He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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