NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
