saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
