member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
