Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
