So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
