it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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