I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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