So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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