all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
