i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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