I'm gonna have a badass scar
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
