Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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