so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
