There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
