If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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