Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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