I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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