my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
