if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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