I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
