whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
