I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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